Healing While Raising Our Children with Samantha Rivas
Welcome to Motherhood Unfiltered—a space for the real, raw, and unfiltered stories of motherhood. At times, this journey can feel isolating and lonely, but my hope is that this blog serves as a reminder that you’re not alone and that your story matters. I created this space to shine a light on the vulnerable, messy, and beautiful experiences of motherhood and to honor the strength in every mom’s story. Because every journey is worth sharing, and every voice deserves to be heard.
Motherhood isn’t just about raising children—it’s about growing alongside them. As we nurture their little hearts, we often find ourselves confronting the wounds of our own past. The intersection of trauma and motherhood is complex; the love we pour into our children can sometimes stir up old pain, forcing us to heal in ways we never expected. But within this journey, there is also deep transformation. Our children don’t just inherit our stories—they witness our resilience, our breaking cycles, our becoming.
Today, I’m honored to share the story of Samantha Rivas, who opens up about her own path of healing while raising her children. Her journey is a testament to the power of self-awareness, breaking generational patterns, and embracing motherhood as an opportunity for growth.
How did you feel emotionally and mentally as you prepared for motherhood?
I don’t think anything could have truly prepared me emotionally or mentally for motherhood. I had a surprise pregnancy when my son was only five months old. Initially, I decided to have an abortion, but a lot happened that changed my decision. I didn’t go through with it because I thought I had experienced a miscarriage with that pregnancy. However, I later found out I hadn’t. During that pregnancy, I was dealing with domestic violence, and my brother passed away, leaving me severely depressed. That pregnancy, in its own way, prepared me for motherhood. It made me realize that someone else was going to depend on me, and it became my responsibility to ensure they had a happy, healthy life.
What were your biggest hopes and fears before giving birth?
My biggest hope was that I could do it all alone: raise a 13-month-old, a newborn, and a five-year-old. It was terrifying. At the same time, I hoped this situation was temporary. I wanted to learn from my previous pregnancies and become stronger. My ultimate hope was to use my role as a mother to pull myself out of the domestic violence situation—and, in the end, I did.
What kind of support did you wish you had during pregnancy that you didn’t get
I wish I had been able to talk to other moms who had gone through similar experiences—someone who had faced domestic violence, was raising kids alone, and had been homeless. But I understand that my situation was very rare, and finding someone else in that same predicament would have been nearly impossible.
How did you navigate the shift in your identity after becoming a mom?
At that point, I was a single mother of three, and I refused to let stereotypes or statistics define me. I had no choice but to shift my identity and become a strong, loving single mom. It wasn’t easy, and a lot of things came with time. I don’t think I truly stepped into my role as a mother until I put my kids in therapy. My oldest daughter had a lot of mental health challenges, and I realized I was part of the problem because of my upbringing and the domestic violence I had endured. When I began making changes within myself, choosing a different path than my mother and grandmother had, and breaking generational curses, that’s when I truly felt like a mom. I became the mother I am today.
What was the most unexpected emotional challenge of new motherhood?
The most unexpected emotional challenge of being a mother is facing your own trauma while trying to raise your kids. You start recognizing behaviors or feelings you’ve normalized as abuse or dysfunction, and then situations trigger those realizations. It’s a constant battle in your head to unlearn those patterns—telling yourself it’s not okay to react the way you were taught and choosing a healthier approach instead. For example, when you’re upset, instead of resorting to hitting or invalidating your child’s feelings, you challenge yourself to communicate, validate, and nurture them instead. It’s extremely hard and uncomfortable, but when you succeed, you feel incredibly proud of yourself.
What’s one lesson you learned about yourself through the transition to motherhood?
Something I learned about myself through the transition to motherhood is that I don’t need to be like my mom, or anyone else I’ve seen on TV or in real life. I need to parent in a way that works for me and feels right for my family. It doesn’t have to look like anything I’ve ever seen before—not how my parents, grandparents, or even my friends’ parents did things. I’ve also learned that what my kids need isn’t always what I assume they need. We have to listen to our kids, talk to them, and figure out what truly makes them happy. Sometimes, the things we do for them aren’t what they actually need. At the end of the day, they’re people too, and understanding that has made me a better parent.
Samantha’s journey is a testament to the strength, resilience, and transformation that motherhood can bring. Her story reminds us that while motherhood can unearth deep wounds, it also offers an opportunity for healing and growth. By choosing to break cycles and parent with intention, she has redefined what motherhood means for herself and her children. Her experience is a powerful reminder that every mother’s story—no matter how complex or challenging—is worth telling.
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